Where I Am vs Where I Thought I Would Be

As a kid reaching age 27 seemed like light-years away. I had all these ideas on what being 27 would be like. I can remember playing with my imaginary friends (#onlychildproblems) pretending to be a grown up who was slowing approaching 30. At the time, I thought this age would be magical. And honestly I must say its really not THAT bad, but its far from what I imagined.

You see 10 year old me thought:

I’d be a famous singer
Reality: I work for an insurance company
 
I’d be married
Reality: Not even close
 
I’d have 2 kids
Reality: (see above)
 
I’d own a 2 story home
Reality: I live in a house (Does that count?)
 
I’d live in Florida (Don’t judge me, I wanted to live close to the Backstreet Boys and Disney World)
Reality: I live in Tennessee (PS You couldn’t pay me to live Florida.. no offense Floridians)
 
I’d drive a Camaro
Reality: I drive a Kia
 
I’d have great friends
Reality: Well I guess some things do come true!
 
As a kid, where did you think you’d be at your current age?
 
 

The Fear of Growing Up

For the past few years I’ve been longing to reach new milestones. To me, reaching these new chapters would mean that I was growing up. I would finally be growing into an adult. I dreamed about getting an awesome job, moving out of my parents house, and becoming completely independent. In my mind, once I achieved these goals and entered into this new chapter of life, I would feel this overwhelming joy and I would be happy.

In just a few days, I will be starting that awesome job, moving out of my parents house, and starting my journey of being an independent adult. Becoming an adult means I have no choice but to take risk. I have no choice but to independently make life changing decisions on my own. Although I know my parents will still support me, it is now all up to me to take care of myself. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time now. I’m excited, but I’m also scared out of my mind.

As I prepare to make this move, I have felt every emotion possible. I’m super excited to be starting this new job and seeing my friends in Nashville, but I am also sad to be leaving my friends and family in Houston. I’m scared about the unknown, optimistic about the future, yet fearful of growing up.

I know that the gamut of emotions I have been feeling lately are just growing pains, and all pain eventually subsides. This new chapter isn’t scary, its just different. Its change. Change can be a lot to handle but eventually change becomes the norm.

 

Why Being a Teacher is NOT the Answer to My Employment Woes

Unsolicited career advice is something that every unemployed individual encounters. Very seldom is the advice anything profound or even useful. Countless times I have been asked, “have you thought about teaching” or “why don’t you substitute teach”. Literally, I want to scream every single time I hear someone ask me that question, but instead I hold back the urge to roll my eyes to no return and simply say, “I’m not sure teaching is the right path for me”. However, even with that statement said people still try to encourage me to teach.

I may be in need of a job but trust and believe teaching is not the answer. I have made a short list of the 5 reasons being a teacher is NOT the answer to my employment woes.

1. I Don’t Want To
Its really that simple. I don’t want to teach.

2. Kids are Evil
Ok, maybe evil is a bit harsh, but you have to admit there are some seriously wicked kids out there. Have you seen the behavior of kids these days? The bullying and violence in schools is out of control. It takes a pretty strong person to handle the Denis the Menaces and the Bébé’s Kids of this new millennium . Seriously though, grade school was not a joyous event for me. I hated it and I’m sure it hated me. Why would I ever willing to go back to that torture?

3. Teaching is a God Given Skill that I Don’t Possess
I may not want to be a teacher but I really hope we never underestimate their importance. Teaching is an important skill set many of us don’t possess. There is a special craft to this profession. Just because you are smart doesn’t mean you will be a great teacher. I have had some teachers that were experts in their designated subject but had NO earthly idea how to convey that knowledge to a group of students. A great teacher is someone who can relate to young minds, is patient, can inspire, and most of all love their job. I honestly don’t believe I have the patience to be that nurturing teacher.

4. I’m Not Emotionally Equipped
A teacher’s job doesn’t only entail helping kids learn how to count or read. They are key influential figures in a child’s life. Teacher’s are supposed to be someone a kid can trust and talk to about any problems they may have. Also they have to have the ability to recognize if a kid is in need of help or counselling. Out of the teacher’s I have talked to most of them have encountered some very sad situations; from seeing students that come from abusive homes,ones that can’t afford to eat lunch, and those who have undiagnosed learning disabilities. I don’t know how teachers don’t go home and cry every night, especially when they know sometimes there is very little they can do to help a child. I know I am not emotionally equipped to handle those kinds of situations.

5. I Don’t Want To
Yes, this was also the #1 reason but this point needs to be emphasized. Confucius once said, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” I’d be a fool not to follow his advice. Teachers have a very important role in society, a role that I shouldn’t be trusted to fill.

What Does it Mean to be an Adult?

 
I am 26 years old. So I’m an adult, right?
I have a college degree. So I’m an adult, right?
I did my taxes by myself for the first time this year. So I’m an adult, right?
I’m in debt. So I’m an adult, right?
About 50% of my friends and associates are married with kids. So I’m an adult, right?
 

But…

I live at home with my parents…
I don’t have a career…
I’m never been on a first date
I still watch Sesame Street weekday mornings
I may or may not fangirl over pop groups like Fifth Harmony

So at the end of the day am I an adult or not? What does being an adult really even mean? According to Webster it means:

Adult  adjective ə-ˈdəlt, ˈa-ˌdəlt
1. fully grown and developed
2. mature and sensible : not childish

I find the word adult to be highly subjective. It can be interpreted as simply a physical state of being or a mental one.

When you think about it, many people have physically developed by age 16, but we all know a 16 year old is for from an adult. Therefore being an adult can’t just be about someones physical development. To me I find the meaning rooted in mental state but much more complex. An adult is not only mature in terms of personality but also in behavior. When I think of an adult I think of someone who is completely independent. This person can support themselves financially, they have at least a somewhat clear career path, and they can engage in mature social relationships. Basically, an adult is someone who has their (excuse my french) shit together.

So am I an adult….

Honestly, I don’t think I’m there yet.  I feel like I’m in the purgatory stage of life.

What about you all? What is your definition of adulthood?

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