No Sir… I Will Not Send You A Picture

 

fail

When I created my online dating profile I spent a lot of time curating the best photos of myself. I made sure I had some that showed my smile and dimples. Another with me out with friends to prove I had a life. And most importantly I made sure to include a full body picture. Yet somehow all my work was in vain. Every time I begin a conversation with a potential suitor I get asked to send them pictures. No sir… I will not send you a picture. Did you not see the photos on my profile?

Between my profile and Facebook I already have enough pictures floating around the inter-webs. These photos have each been filtered and gone through the full approval process. You do know if I was to send you one I’m just going to send you copies of those photos? Unless, you want the crazy bedhead Snapchats I send to my friends or the photos I take of my eyeliner because I forgot my compact at home, you’ve already seen the best that I got.

The real question is why do guys constantly ask for extra photos?  Look, I get the whole “guys are visual beings” thing, but I have 6 photos on my profile…isn’t that enough. If you want to make sure I’m not catfishing you, lets Skype. Some of us aren’t narcissistic enough to have hundred of selfies in the vault just waiting to be sent to random Joe Blow. And if you’re not worried about being catfished then exactly what kind of photos are you looking for?

Now I’m hip enough to know that what a lot of guys really want is some half naked photo. But they never just say it. Look boys I would much rather you be honest about what it is that you want. The sooner you let me know you’re a perv the sooner I can lose your number. Sorry for wanting to have a conversation before sending some stranger pictures of my lady bits. Actually, it wouldn’t even matter if I knew you for 10+ years I’m not sending you that type of photo. What if I become famous one day  ;-).

On a serious note, this is a PSA to all guys out there. Don’t ask girls for photos! Most of us don’t want to send them. If you need some visual stimulation here is a million dollar suggestion……….

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ASK US OUT!

3 thoughts on “No Sir… I Will Not Send You A Picture

  1. Ali A says:

    Too funny & so true. On a kind of related note, what’s with dudes sending unsolicited selfies?! I never thought I’d have to deal with this but it happens to me ALL the time. It happens when we’re casually chatting back and forth — BOOM! A picture of themselves seductively in bed. Or it can happen when I’m actually not being responsive and then I check back and after a series of unanswered messages, a selfie of them comes through. STAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHP IT IS SO WEIRD!

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