26, Unmarried, Childless, and I Secrectly Love When You Ask Me About It

For the past few days I have seen this article 26, Unmarried, and Childless shared up and down my Facebook news feed, tucked ironically in between engagement announcements and photos of infants. I remember reading this article when it was first written late last year and it seems since then every few months one of my fellow generational sisters tells her experience about not being at society’s expected stage of life. Being that I too am at the same stage I have fallen trap to reading every single one of these outcries. I found that their stories usually take one of two point-of-views. Either the girl takes the, “I’m not conforming to societal pressure, I’m single and fabulous” stand, or the, “I’m content with life but I secretly wish I was married with kids”. These are both valid view points and at some point in my mid 20’s I have felt the same way, but reality is, just because we are childless at 26 doesn’t mean we are the only ones getting hassled with aggravating questions.

Our 26 year old, married, with 3 kids, friends are getting asked the same questions- only theirs sounds like, “Don’t you think you had kids too young” or “Remember that time you got a business degree but decided to be a stay at home mom”.  Yes, these questions are irritating, unwanted, and ill-advised, but not getting asked those questions is worse than a few minutes of displeasure. Yes, you read that right, not getting asked those questions IS worse than your temporary annoyance. Now you are probably thinking, “Girl, please”, but before you hit the little x on the right side of this tab allow me to explain.

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What Does it Mean to be an Adult?

 
I am 26 years old. So I’m an adult, right?
I have a college degree. So I’m an adult, right?
I did my taxes by myself for the first time this year. So I’m an adult, right?
I’m in debt. So I’m an adult, right?
About 50% of my friends and associates are married with kids. So I’m an adult, right?
 

But…

I live at home with my parents…
I don’t have a career…
I’m never been on a first date
I still watch Sesame Street weekday mornings
I may or may not fangirl over pop groups like Fifth Harmony

So at the end of the day am I an adult or not? What does being an adult really even mean? According to Webster it means:

Adult  adjective ə-ˈdəlt, ˈa-ˌdəlt
1. fully grown and developed
2. mature and sensible : not childish

I find the word adult to be highly subjective. It can be interpreted as simply a physical state of being or a mental one.

When you think about it, many people have physically developed by age 16, but we all know a 16 year old is for from an adult. Therefore being an adult can’t just be about someones physical development. To me I find the meaning rooted in mental state but much more complex. An adult is not only mature in terms of personality but also in behavior. When I think of an adult I think of someone who is completely independent. This person can support themselves financially, they have at least a somewhat clear career path, and they can engage in mature social relationships. Basically, an adult is someone who has their (excuse my french) shit together.

So am I an adult….

Honestly, I don’t think I’m there yet.  I feel like I’m in the purgatory stage of life.

What about you all? What is your definition of adulthood?

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Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me Maintaining A Social Life In My Mid 20’s Would Be So Hard?

At 16 years old I was almost positive at 26 I would have this rock star social life. As I sat in my room on Saturday nights listening to Evanescence and Gavin DeGraw, I dreamt of the days when I would sip & nosh at happy hour and spend every weekend hanging out with awesome friends. Well imagine my surprise when things didn’t quite turn out that way. Since then I’ve probably been to a happy hour 3 times in my life and at least 1 of those was at Sonic. I go out with friends on average 1-2 times a month, and that’s a MAJOR increase from last year.

Tonight I realized there are approximately 10 factors that are hindering my social life from flourishing.

  1. I don’t have anything to wear.
  2. All of my old favorite spots are ridden with annoying college kids
  3. TLC’s Bride Day ( Until they cancel Say Yes to the Dress my Friday nights are booked)
  4. I can get a whole bottle of wine for the cost of one glass at a bar (or a few bottles of 2 Buck Chuck. Thank You Trader Joe’s!)
  5. Crowds make me sweat… and a lady NEVER sweats
  6. Dance clubs require dancing and I have 2 left feet
  7. Dirty Old Men
  8. Most of my friends live in different cities ( #IWentToCollegeOutOfStateProblems)
  9. My bed time is significantly earlier now
  10. Parking, Parking Parking

{ ETA: 11. I’m BROKE!!– Thanks to Janelle at Ears Like a Hawke for reminding me }

Proof I used to have a social life

Proof I used to have a social life

I know I need to do better. I’m afraid I’m going to end up an old boring cat lady… and I don’t even like cats. Why didn’t anyone tell me maintaining a social life in my mid 20’s would be so hard?

Friends I need your help! Do any of you have similar issues? What are you doing to maintain an active social life?

Quarter Life Crisis Relapse

I have relapsed…. Yep, my quarter life crisis is back and with a vengeance this time.

^ I wrote that almost two weeks ago, but I couldn’t seem to find the rest of the words to accompany that thought.

This morning I logged onto my computer half halfheartedly determined to finish this post when I some how found myself on YouTube.

Staring right in front of me was a recommended video called Quarterlife Crisis Musical. I must admit I was a little creeped out by the mere fact that YouTube obviously has some sort of mind reading abilities. Seriously, how else would they know about my dilemma and undying love for musicals? Hmm well maybe its all of those Shoshana Bean, Katie Thompson, Jonathan Reid Gealt and Scott Alan videos I watch. Nonetheless, I was shocked to see the suggestion and intrigued enough to spend 3 mins of my life figuring out what this video was all about.

After the first 20 secs I was convinced that this video was a God send. It said, better yet sung, everything I wanted to say when I started this post two weeks ago. So instead of trying to regurgitate the words, I thought it was best I let them deliver the message for me.

Check out the Quarterlife Crisis Musical below, you wont regret it!!