Never Trust People Who Put Sugar in Their Grits

I’m a Texan 1st and a Southerner 2nd, but just like anyone else from the lower eastern part of the country, grits have been a staple in my household. Nothing says Southern comfort food like a bowl of yummy creamy grits. For generations Mamas and Grannies have been feeding their families this delectable savory side dish…..

The keyword in that last sentence SAVORY. That’s the only way they are allowed to be eaten. You can spice them up with some butter, salt, maybe a little pepper or perhaps some cheese. If you want to get all fancy, you can make it with cornmeal add in some parm and call it polenta. As long as its savory you are A-OK in my book.

But imagine my surprise when I got to college and realized that their are people in this world bold enough to desecrate a bowl of grits with sugar. Finding that out truly hurt my spirit. I vividly remember the first time I saw someone eating sweet grits.

Location: The Caf

Suspect: Girl from my dorm

Description of Crime:  It was a during Breakfast on a Sunday morning. The suspect was seen pouring an obscene amount of sugar in her grits

When I first saw her my thought was, “Oh bless her heart, the poor Yank doesn’t know how to eat grits”. I was going to go politely let her know that typically grits were eaten with salt and butter, but I didn’t really know her like that. So I let her eat that sweet concoction in peace, but I was side-eyeing her like nobody’s business, and deep down inside I got this feeling that she was the type of person I couldn’t trust.

After a lot of pondering over that feeling I think I have narrowed down to the three reasons why you can’t trust people who put sugar in their grits.

They are Fake

No one likes fakers and these people are as fake as it gets. Obviously they had no idea how to eat grits so they treated it like that nasty prison food, a.k.a cream of wheat. I mean honestly, can you really trust someone who is so boldly fake. I’m sorry but in this instance you can’t fake it till you make it. You either know how to eat grits or you don’t. No need to put on a charade.

Addiction to Sugar

90% of Americans probably have a sugar addiction, but this is taking it  to a whole other level. Like a Lindsey Lohan kind of level. That’s a problem. You don’t want to hang out with people who’s addiction is sooo strong that they would have the nerve to eat sweet grits. I mean people don’t sugar on their corn on the cob. Italians don’t put sugar in polenta. Why would someone put it in grits? I just don’t understand.

Poor Judgement

I just can’t trust people who display a poor sense of judgement.  Someone who would put sugar in grits shows a complete disregard of  sacred unwritten law and a lack of common sense.

Obviously I feel passionate about this topic. So what are your thoughts on sweet grits eaters? Let me know in the comments


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